Reflecting on yourself isn't always easy.
I have to admit that looking at myself and judging or scrutinizing hasn't always come to the best outcome. I see things in myself that I feel like I need to change, but put them off for some other time. Claiming that I'm too busy or convincing myself that there's something else I need to do before I can work on myself.
That time is over. Those things are done.
Now is the time where I've realized that I can't set aside my mental health or the things in my life that need changing. I've always thought that I made the time to relax and unwind from the usual routine of the week, but what I've been doing hasn't really been helping. I've been setting aside my concerns and real issues with myself, hoping they would just fix themselves.
It's going to be such a long road to get to where I need and want to be. I want to be healthier, not just in my body, but in my mind. Along with the physical health is going to come the mental; the bits of myself that I don't want to face, the internal mechanization's that have driven themselves into a rhythm.
I really don't know how I'm going to do it. Journaling has been helping, though I will admit it hasn't always been easy or convenient to just pull out my journal and start writing things down. Especially when I don't know what to say. Everything I write sounds stupid. And that's only discouraging.
I'm going to do my best to put a real focus on fixing myself from the inside, out, and I hope that I can make some real progress. I'm going to try and document that progress here, as much as I can. This blog has become such an outlet for me, I can't even explain it. It doesn't even matter to me if people are reading it, though I hope they are, in the hopes that I'm possibly not alone with these thoughts of self doubt. Updates will come soon.
Le temps viendra.
♥
*Image from Easton Oliver*
