I've ditched the glasses!

Whenever I thought about getting Lasik, I cringed at the idea. I thought about all the horror stories I've ever read about the surgery and decided right then and there that I would never risk getting a surgery that could possibly leave me blind for the rest of my life. I would deal with the glasses and contacts, thank you very much.

Fast forward a few years and, surprise!, my eyes decide that they don't like the material contacts are made out of. Leaving me with no choice but to wear glasses full time. Now if you're like me and have had to wear glasses for most of your young life, you know how annoying it could be. But I dealt with it because getting surgery just wasn't the one for me. And then comes Covid-19. Mask requirements. Foggy lenses every time you breathed. Let's take another look at Lasik.

This isn't something that I went into with zero research and I did my best to stay away from all the stories of surgeries that had gone wrong for some others. Permanent vision loss, dry eyes so bad that no amount of eye drops could help, etc. I was in this for the facts and let's face it, Lasik has turned twenty-nine years old in 2020, so there's been so much room for improvement. My doctor went over all the risks with me and I was confident enough with them that going through with it didn't seem like such a big deal anymore. I got a lot of my information from this Wikipedia article, if you want to take a peak.

Of course my anxiety had other things to say about that so every moment leading up to the surgery was dreadful. I had to take a medicated drop four times a day the day before my surgery. The day of, they gave me both numbing drops twice and some antibacterial drops, also twice. And a Valium, to calm me the heck down. They were also very kind and made me a stress ball type thing out of a medical glove stuffed with paper towels. Getting this surgery done with a face mask on wasn't actually as bad as I thought it would be. The doctor and assistants were all very friendly and patient with me, knowing how nervous I was.

Getting into it, they have you lay down on a bed that looks quite similar to ones that a chiropractor or a massage therapist might have, though not as comfortable and the hole where the head should have was padded. They put the laser over your face and honestly, the worst part of the whole thing was the suction! There was no pain, but a lot of pressure. It's not a comfortable surgery but thankfully it only lasts about fifteen minutes and boom! I was walking out the door with brand new eyes. Though I couldn't enjoy it right away as my eyes were watering like no one's business. And it felt like there was something wedged in there but I wasn't allowed to rub them.

All in all, I think the most important thing you need to do is find a good surgeon that you're confident and comfortable with. I was lucky to find the one I did. Do your research, but don't let it scare you! It was scary but honestly so so worth it.

♥

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"Why aren't I there yet?"

I don't know if my brain is in quarantine overdrive, but I've been thinking a lot about life lately. The way the world is right now has forced me to look at where I am in life and where others are. And that's not really a good thing. It hasn't been productive for my mental health.

In my last post I mentioned that my family and I were struggling with a lot of personal issues. Some very serious ones. We still are. But while we are managing, I've come to realize that there are people we are connected too that are living their own lives and are unknowingly damaging the mental health of ourselves. It's forced us to take a step back and cut them out of our lives for that reason. It really sucks knowing that some people in your life aren't really in your life at all. You reach out a hand and it's slapped away or just ignored. Focusing on us and living for us is really important right now. Maybe more than ever.

This has been short and it's been a mess, but I really just needed to write something. I think putting it all down also helps to remind me that I don't have to live my life in the same order as someone else. I can do things in my own time, when it's right for me, not because someone else is expecting me to do or be somewhere. Maybe this will be a good reminder to anyone reading this who has felt the same. Who has been looking at other lives and wondering, Why aren't I there yet? Live your life in your own time. Especially right now social media can be so damaging to people. I've seen some posts on Instagram of people living the best lives while in quarantine and it's made me feel less productive and less enthusiastic about myself. It's a vicious and nasty cycle and it's also been surprising because I've always just done my own thing. I've never worried about how my life compared to someone else's because I've always had what I needed. I still do. But the pressure to buy a house, have a baby, do this, do that, have been multiplied by the millions.

I know I'm not the only one to have ever felt this way. And even talking about it on here makes me feel vulnerable. But I'm hoping that this is something that will help me overcome all of the negativity I've been feeling. I'm planning on cutting back on social media and turning my focus to better things. I'm hoping you all have been safe and healthy during this weird and rough time. Please reach out if you've been feeling the same.

♥

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"When we got married I promised myself I wouldn't go running to Momma with every little thing."

My first book review! In such a long time! Wowza!

I am AMAZED that this is happening right now. 2019 has taken me to hell and back, so blogging about the books I've been reading hasn't really been a thing. So sitting down to write this about a book that pretty much took me by surprise feels so so good.

Meg & Jo, a retelling of Little Women focusing on the lives of the two older sisters. I need to mention now that I haven't read the original Little Women. At least, I don't remember if I did or not. I know what it's about, obviously, and know a little bit about what happens. Also, when I was in Girl Scouts, we visited the family home of Louisa May Alcott, the author, and I remember going into the barn where the sisters would put on their plays and just thought about what a different world it was.

Maybe I should have read the original before jumping into a retelling... but oh well!

I can't even explain to you how quickly I read through this book. I feel like I've been in a slump for a little while and this seemed to get me right through it. For a moment, at least.

First things first, Meg and John are married. With twins. CUTE. But Meg is trying to be super mom and do everything on her own. And John is trying to let her have her way but help as well. So there's a little tug of war there.

Jo is working in New York in a restaurant, while doing some food blogging on the side. Her boss, Eric, AKA hunkasaurus, isn't fond of food bloggers. So this relationship gets a little muddled in the middle, as you can imagine. I had A LOT of anxiety over this plot line, as Trey kept coming in and out and really making me dislike his character.

The sister dynamic in this retelling is much of the same, which I was relieved about, as I know that's an important aspect of the original. Family was a big deal in this book, so it was surprising how some of the plot lines went, but I'll leave that up to you to find out what I mean.

As most of my reviews go, I'm going to stop here before I give away too much. Long story short, I really enjoyed this retelling, and I can't wait for the second one to come out. And now on to read the original before the die hards have my head.

Oh, and Happy New Year!

♥

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Hello Lovelies!

It's finally December! The tree is up (has been since November, whoops), the lights are on, and the snow has arrived. It's funny, I had written out this little thing about my December posts being a Not So Blogmas Blogmas, and here with are with my first post of the month. A few days away from Christmas. 🤣

Time has really escaped me this year.

Anyway, not so happy about the snow, but what can ya do? Along with all the holiday cheer comes some dry skin and frizzy, static-y hair. So I've been on the hunt for some new things to try. And I think I found some good products that are worth sharing.

I really like going to the beauty and skincare section of department stores and seeing what kind of discounted brand name products I can find. I happened to find two new items I've never used before.

The first is the I Dew Care Straight Radiate Moisturizing Gold Gel Cream. I was a little confused by this at first, but it had cute packaging, so I couldn't leave this on the shelf. How I used this was probably not the right way. I put this all over my face and applied my foundation on top of it. Which definitely worked because it gave me a subtle glow without making me look like a disco ball. A very real fear because that's one hundred percent what I looked like before my foundation. I think this is probably used as a gel highlighter and you're only supposed to use it in the places that you want, and not the whole face. Oops.

I don't typically use face oils. I have that awful combination skin with a high inclination of oil in my t-zone, so staying away from it is usually better for me. But when I saw this, I figured I would give it a try. I loved the packaging. I thought it looked rather elegant and high end, without the price tag. I've never heard of this brand, but the Truly Organic with the CONTENTS INCLUDE NON-ORGANIC AND NON-NATURAL INGREDIENTS gave me a chuckle.

Using this is quite nice, however. I try not to use too much, but just the right amount has my face feeling hydrated and comfy. There's no itchy/dry feeling like I usually feel in the winter months. I'm not sure how often I'll use this once spring comes around, but for now it's been helping me out. It doesn't smell, which is always a plus!

I got both of these items from TJ Maxx, but I found them at Ulta and linked them below.

I Dew Care Straight Radiate
Truly Organic Hemp Seed Oil Facial Serum

♥
*Links are not affiliate. I make nothing when you clink on links*

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Hello Lovelies.

Not so very cheerful the last few days and I got to thinking if it was just because of the weather or if I'm actually really sad. What better time to ponder on such a thing than during the holidays?

The last few days I've gotten into the habit of thinking about my past and it's made me feel pretty lousy. You start thinking about everything you could have done differently and if you hadn't done one thing, your life would be completely different now. It's that different that I've been wanting. Would I be happier? Would I be living somewhere else? Would I be doing the same thing and wondering what would have happened if I did it different?

These are things that I'll never know, because unfortunately, we don't get the chance to go back into the past and change our lives. Damn movies for making it seem like things like that could happen. Right now, at this very moment, I wish it could.

All of this started because of a dream. I can't even remember the dream, but I know someone from my past was in it and here we are. If I hadn't had that dream, would I be happy now? Or is the snow and the cold and the grey dreary days making me feel like nothing is as it should be? There are too many questions and no answers available. Nothing to do but wait it out. Honestly, just sitting down and writing this out is a tiny bit helpful. I might not even post this, so if you're reading it, then I got brave.

Sometimes I also feel like I'm walking around with a smile plastered on my face. I play pretend for others, so they don't ask how things are going. Why I don't want to share my feelings with others is beyond me, but it's something that's been taking a toll. Maybe I should get a therapist? I don't know, but helping all the other people in my life and acting like I have my life together isn't working anymore.

Unfortunately, I have no advice for others who may feel like this. How can I give advice when I don't know how to help myself? Drink your water and exercise, I guess. That's supposed to make us as humans happy, right?

Can 2020 please bring about happy change?

♥