the pressures to have a picture perfect life

by - 9/16/2020

"Why aren't I there yet?"

I don't know if my brain is in quarantine overdrive, but I've been thinking a lot about life lately. The way the world is right now has forced me to look at where I am in life and where others are. And that's not really a good thing. It hasn't been productive for my mental health.

In my last post I mentioned that my family and I were struggling with a lot of personal issues. Some very serious ones. We still are. But while we are managing, I've come to realize that there are people we are connected too that are living their own lives and are unknowingly damaging the mental health of ourselves. It's forced us to take a step back and cut them out of our lives for that reason. It really sucks knowing that some people in your life aren't really in your life at all. You reach out a hand and it's slapped away or just ignored. Focusing on us and living for us is really important right now. Maybe more than ever.

This has been short and it's been a mess, but I really just needed to write something. I think putting it all down also helps to remind me that I don't have to live my life in the same order as someone else. I can do things in my own time, when it's right for me, not because someone else is expecting me to do or be somewhere. Maybe this will be a good reminder to anyone reading this who has felt the same. Who has been looking at other lives and wondering, Why aren't I there yet? Live your life in your own time. Especially right now social media can be so damaging to people. I've seen some posts on Instagram of people living the best lives while in quarantine and it's made me feel less productive and less enthusiastic about myself. It's a vicious and nasty cycle and it's also been surprising because I've always just done my own thing. I've never worried about how my life compared to someone else's because I've always had what I needed. I still do. But the pressure to buy a house, have a baby, do this, do that, have been multiplied by the millions.

I know I'm not the only one to have ever felt this way. And even talking about it on here makes me feel vulnerable. But I'm hoping that this is something that will help me overcome all of the negativity I've been feeling. I'm planning on cutting back on social media and turning my focus to better things. I'm hoping you all have been safe and healthy during this weird and rough time. Please reach out if you've been feeling the same.

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